The Evolution of Ghosts in Haunted Attractions

by: RFR Casket Crew Storm

Greetings Deadites,

Over the past few years, the popular opinion of what a ghost looks like has had some major changes. The days of Casper the Friendly ghost are gone, and no more cutting holes in the bedroom linens or spray painting a zombie costume white to have a ghost terrorize visitors to you haunt. Here are some of the challenging new forms ghosts have taken and how to incorporate them into haunt designs.

Orbs: Maybe it’s Uncle Marty, maybe its dust and a camera flash, regardless there are enough believers out there that haunt owners can put away the lemon Pledge and add more strobe lights anyplace for an instant Orb Ghost room when patrons are present

Voices: Disembodied voices and EVP type effects have always been a staple of haunts, but with this growing ghost phenomenon haunters have to be more creative with the content. Gone are the tried but true deep growling “Get Out” , and more common are the soft garbled sounds that resemble a bad drive through speaker. That might be good for concessions when patrons go through asking “Did you just say you died here or asked me if I want fries?”

Shadow People: These creepy ghostly shadows like to dart behind things in abandoned buildings and lighthouses, but they make the haunt budget happy when you can have a dot room without dealing with painting any dots.

Heat Signatures: Apparently the Predator could have also scored a role in the sixth sense with this new technology for Ghosts to reveal themselves. While the FLIR goggles for patrons might be expensive, the actors will appreciate the new sauna you install for them to relax in before running through the haunt ahead of the patrons touching and sitting in props.

EM Fields: Is there an evil presence in the basement or should you fire your electrician. While both scenarios are scary just hope your patrons know to look for Electromagnetic spikes when you send them into your new Basement of Spirits attraction with the prop EMF detectors.

Blurry Glowing Things: Was that a moth on the camera of the gas station or a restless Pony Express rider? The real fear will take place as you paint a thousand June bugs with phosphorescent paint and let them loose in your haunt.

Moving Stuff: What goes bump in the night? Well in your haunted house it can be everything if you loosen some floor boards and cut 1 leg on each table and chair a little short. The pain will be hiring actors to play the role of haunt pin monkeys for the reset.

Mist: Anyone gets creeped out by the low crawling fog that begins to take unearthly shapes. Only one good way to accomplish this on demand… Remote Control Fog, I’m sure there is some military research already on that one.

So until next time Deadites, Sit Back, Relax, and Rot Away…

Haunted Attraction Gym Slogans by RFR’s Storm

by RFR Casket Crew Storm

Greetings Deadites,

I was at the gym the other day fighting through the mass of humanity that have suddenly shown up because there was a New Year’s Resolution membership sale, and I realized nobody was wearing any haunt shirts. I figure there are just not enough good haunt related gym slogan T-shirts. Here are some of my ideas for T-shirts to start showing up at the gym.

“My Other Workout is Scarring the Piss Out of Someone”

“I Can Bench Press My Weight In Evil Clowns”

“Each Mile on the Treadmill Lets Me Run Faster With a Chainsaw”

“Feel the Burn Now, Play in the Blood Later”

“Sweating to Rotting Flesh Radio”

“Fast Zombie in Training”

“It Was Either Go to the Gym or Buy a Bigger Straightjacket”

“Pain is Just Inspiration for Better Haunt Scenes”

So until next time Deadites, Sit Back, Relax, and Rot Away…

NBC’s New 5 Hour Horror Lineup Since Leno Fiasco…

by RFR Casket Crew Storm

Greetings Deadites,
Not since Doctor Frankenstein started grave robbing has there been a more ill conceived mad scientist experiment then the Jay Leno Show at 10pm. Well the angry mob of local affiliates grabbed their pitchforks and torches and chased the big chinned monster back to late night. Now NBC is faced with a big problem, what the hell can they get together to fill 5 hours of programming each week? Here are some of my Suggestions.

Cooking with Krueger:
Not only does Freddy bring his own cutlery, he is ready to deliver killer comments while hosting the entire show from inside an industrial oven.

So You Think You Can Haunt?:
Aspiring Halloween enthusiasts try to impress the judges by trying to scare the audience using costumes, FX, props, and pneumatics.

Dracula’s Creeptacular Variety Show:
The kids like the vampires that sparkle? Well wait until they get a load of the king of the vampires opening each show with a musical number while wearing a sequined jumpsuit.

The Creepy Evil Klown Show:
Sorta like the Jay Leno show, but with better jokes and hosted by a creepy clown. Who would not tune in to see Lady Gaga try to sit through an interview by Pennywise?

Whose Nightmare is it Anyway?:
Drew Carey and friends match up with Steven King and Clive Barker to act out improvised horror.

ZSI : Zombie Scene Investigation:
Each week the team uses forensic science to discover which celebrity zombie ate the victim’s brains.

Sweet Talking with Bruce Campbell:
A hidden camera show where Bruce Campbell uses one liners to talk himself out of madcap real life situations.

Leatherface: The Musical:
They let CopRock air for a few weeks, why not choreographed chainsaw dance numbers?

So until next time Deadites, Sit Back, Relax, and Rot Away…

2010 Haunters Resolutions

by: RFR Casket Crew Storm

Greetings Deadites,
Well you survived the shopping riots at the malls, holiday dinners with the family, and you resisted eating a robot hamster to make it to the New Year. With a fresh calendar on the wall comes a new chance to live up to those New Year’s Resolutions you make each year. Here are some of the top Haunter’s Resolutions for 2010.

More Blood

Start a Zombie kick ball league

Gross Out another haunter

Give customers nightmares of your character

Capture something other than dust while taking pictures on a ghost hunt

Star in a haunt related reality show

Have everyone else buy you drinks at a haunt convention party

Be the one to buy everyone else drinks at a haunt convention party

See weather reports that do not involve rain in September and October.

Get a raise at the day job to afford some kick ass fangs

Not to “sparkle” in the sunlight

Win the Nobel Prize for Haunt Related Activities

So until next time Deadites, Sit Back, Relax, and Rot Away…

Tiger Woods the Haunter

by RFR Casket Crew Storm

Greetings Deadites,
So unless you have been under a rock this week you already know that Tiger Woods went dirt bag rock star and has mistresses coming out of the woodwork after his little bumper car episode down his driveway. The incident is amusing with him being a golfer, but I wonder what some of the headlines would have looked like if Tiger was a haunter.

Tiger crashes SUV in driveway taking out foam gravestones and Impaler Animatronic

Woods’ wife breaks windows with buckey skeleton leg to save husband.

Tiger crashes custom hearse in early morning car accident.

Woods skips charity haunt appearance to recover from car accident injuries.

Tiger’s transgressions could harm haunt sponsorships.

Wood’s has more skeletons in closet then displayed on lawn

911 Call “I can’t tell what’s real blood and what is fake!”

Woods has history of partying with Scream Queens

Tiger denies spending hour in vortex before driving

Cell phone message reveals Tiger silicone collection not limited to masks

Woods announces new latex foot in mouth prop for 2010

So until next time Deadites, Sit Back, Relax, and Rot Away…

Ready for some Roasted Flesh and Thanksgiving?

by: RFR Casket Crew Storm

Greetings Deadites,

Thanksgiving is right around the corner, so what’s on your dinner table? Time to roll out the black tablecloths and bloody candles for the following menu.

Appetizers:
Devils Ham Finger Sandwiches: The most evil of meats normally saved for school cafeteria meatloaf served between a pair of severed human fingers and an olive on top.

Black Lagoon Shrimp Cocktail: If you thought the creature was the only mean critter in the lagoon, wait until your try these tasty crustaceans. Make sure they are chilled, and can be served with or without the teeth still on them. Goes best with a cocktail sauce heavy on onions and human blood.

Children of the Corn Chowder: Malachi got this old family harvest recipe before killing his mother, enjoyed best with a sickle rather than a spoon.

Main Course:
Freddy’s Turkey: Overcooked, disfigured, and burnt to a crisp, this turkey will even carve it’s self. Has 100% more tryptophan than any other turkey.

Leather face Stuffing: Fine Artisan breads, fall spices, and the annoying dinner guest ground up into crumbs with a chainsaw.

Mother Fightorfly’s Mashed Potatoes: Wild potatoes harvested by Tiny, cooked with care and psychotic love, then brutally mashed into a pulp the Fightorfly way. Best severed with gravy made from Captain Spalding’s Fried Chicken leftovers roasted in a rabbit costume.

Jigsaw’s Green Bean Casserole: Quick, the dish is getting cold you have 2 minutes to find out which guest has the can of crispy fried onions hidden in their leg.

Cranberry Critter Sauce: Take a bite of this can shaped toothy treat before it takes a bit out of you.

Elvira’s Sweet potatoes: A heaving dish with some big yams.

Dessert:
Pumpkin Head Pie: Revenge is a dish best served with Cool Whip.

So until next time Deadites enjoy the Thanksgiving Dinner and, Sit Back, Relax, and Rot Away…

Storm’s Haunt Illnesses

The Rotted Ramblings of RFR Casket Crew Storm

Greetings Deadites,

It’s that time of year again, you know when someone at your haunt comes down with some foreign illness that spreads through the actors and makes having fun in October that much more difficult. Well with the onset of swine flu, here are some more illnesses and their symptoms to watch out for this October.

V1B1 (Vampire Bat Flu) – Aches, fevers, and a thirst for blood.

Horror Stroke – Unconsciousness resulting from the immediate attach by an
unmentionable horror.

Severed Head Gout – Swelling and burning sensation taking place after a decapitation.

Banshee Cough – Painful explosive cough that shatters the ribcage.

Zombie Pox – Pustules that are often seen on reanimated corpses.

Werewolf Fever – Sweating, elevated body temperature, increased body hair, and a hunger for dog biscuits at the onset of a full moon.

Cthulhu Plague – Outbreak of tentacles that cover the entire body.

Haunt Madness – Sudden unpredictable behavior and a desire to scare as many people as possible.

So until next time Deadites take your vitamin C and, Sit Back, Relax, and Rot Away…

Scare Patrons: Who’s your Favorite Haunt Customer?

by: RFR Casket Crew Storm

Greetings Deadites,
We are right in the meat of the haunting season and if you are haunting or touring a haunt you get to see some great scares. As a haunt actor I can say there are a select group of customers that we love to scare the most….

Captain America – Like the shield wielding patriot of comic lore, this guy will bravely traverse any haunt using his 105 pound girlfriend as a human shield the whole way. Most times they will say they were holding their girlfriend from running away, but we can see it in their eyes. They are so frightened they really would say “here take her first” before running away.

The Sex Change – This haunt patron takes 2 forms. First is an average guy who seems to be doing fine until a ghoul comes out of a shadow. This guy suddenly lets out a schoolgirl shriek while hopping up and down doing the “get the spider off me” dance. The other form is your average woman who also seems to show no sign of fright, until something jumps out at them. Suddenly this woman falls backwards arms stretched out yelling “Whoa” in a loud deep voice that would make Barry White envious.

Ostridge Person – This haunt patron can be found anywhere but are most prevalent on hayrides where they can hide in the hoods of their sweatshirts without having to try and walk too. If they had their choice they would go through the entire attraction head buried in their friend’s back with a hood pulled up. However curiosity always gets them, the screams stop, and they just have to look, and every time they turn their face to see a haunt actor dripping blood who will now haunt their nightmares for another 11 months.

Funny Guy - This is the last guy in the group to get invited out. He’s a bit of a jerk, and is seriously enjoying his friends fear too much. Usually laughing, clapping his hands and chanting “Yes!”. Their laughs only cover their own fear, because if you are lucky enough to hit one directly with a scare they scream some deity’s name and grasp their chest. Now the tables are turned as his friends get a good hearty laugh at his reaction that will be the subject of teasing the whole ride home.

Super Dad – This is a very tough but rewarding scare to get. Super dad is either too cheap for a baby sitter or likes to torment his kid’s psyche. He will drag his small children through a haunt, smiling and laughing just slightly louder then his terrified screaming children. The obviously upset kids make it hard for an actor to unleash the full potential of their airbrush painted corn syrup covered doom, but every once in a while you can hit super dad just right, and make him shriek for fear. This is one of the best scares because if you look at the kid at that point he’s no longer scared, but has the firm look of “see how do you like it!” on their face. I sometimes wonder if incidents like that are the subconscious root to why we all grew up to be haunters?

Now it’s your turn Deadites, hit up the comments for this article, or give the Rotline a call at (641) 715-3900 x 35822 with your favorite haunt patron to scare.

So until next time Deadites Sit Back, Relax, and Rot Away…

Horror Idioms: What are Yours?

by: RFR Casket Crew Storm

Greetings Deadites,I was alerted this morning to people using “Screaming Like an Banshee” incorrectly replacing screaming with non-banshee verbs. Now we can sit here all day and debate who is to blame; Twilight, SyFy Original Movies, Twitter. However it got me thinking what other horror idioms are out there that people can mess up? Here are a few.

Let Sleeping Werewolves Lay

Does Dracula wear a cape?

Like a Zombie With its Head Blown Off

Drastic Times Call for a Machete and a Hockey Mask

Great Ghosts Haunt Alike

No Room to Swing a Cat-of-Nine Tails

I look forward to seeing if anyone comes up with more, feel free to comment to today’s blog or call them into the RFR Rotline: (641) 715-3900 Ext 35822 and hear yourself on the show!

So until next time Deadites, Sit Back, Relax, and Rot Away…

What Not to Take to a Ren Faire by the Rambling Storm

The Often Submitted Ramblings From: STORM

Greetings Deadites,

Well I did what all good haunters do with a free September afternoon; I went to a Renaissance Faire. Great time, turkey legs, sword fights, cleavage, all what you would expect at a Renaissance Faire, but there was some stuff that just didn’t belong.

Coffee Cans – Hey you need your caffeine when running around in armor, but could we find something more period for the jousting knights to use as target practice then coffee cans?

InuYasha – Ok, so nobody dressed like that yet, but the guy serving us fried dough had on dog ears and a raccoon tail, so this needs to be nipped in the bud.

Tiny Pixie Wings – Here’s some good advice for all occasions. If something would fit on the back of your dog, don’t wear it yourself!! I’m not even talking about the kid sized fairy wings that people wear; these things had an 8” wingspan. Maybe, maybe if you have a petite frame it might not look insane, but the 40 year old 200 pound guy wearing them, just wrong!

Southern Bells – Yup… like at the Kentucky Derby, 3 of them. We need to start teaching History in “skool” again.

Jack Sparrow – Ok, we get it, pirates have taken hold on the Renn Faire, it’s alright, but could you use more imagination then a Jack Sparrow costume? 2 of them in one afternoon.

Bluetooth – Leave the headset at home. At least try to keep to the illusion, nobody wants to be the yuppie nattering away to themselves in line for a turkey leg, and then takes a mace off the head. Don’t be that guy!

Storm with throwing axes – Amazingly I got hold of 4 of them and managed to throw them without mortally wounding myself or others. Really it would have been best to evacuate the fairgrounds when I stepped up to the booth.

Really the organizers should enforce these suggestions before Renaissance Faires start looking like World Of Warcraft conventions.

So until next time Deadites, Sit Back, Relax, and Rot Away…