A Twisted Family Reunion Every Halloween Season

by: RFR Casket Crew Hatter 99

It’s here…Well, it’s here for me at least. Last week I reunited with my morbid “family” for some good old-fashioned pants-peeing fear-mongering. As I settled into my groove and became acquainted with my fellow scareactors, it reminded me of a fundamental reason why I love the industry so much.

Hat ON.

Many of us involved in the haunt industry are not, as some would believe, vampires who sleep all day and stalk all night. Most of us have day jobs (or school responsibilities) during the “normal” waking hours, venues that are rife with politics, cliques, and endless drama. Spending all day, every day, with the same group of people is the ideal incubator for those social diseases that can suck a lot of fun out of life. In the haunt industry, though, I work with my fellow scareactors only a couple of days a week for only one and a half months out of the year. That’s not to say that it completely prohibits the growth of those social parasites; no, they are clearly alive and well, but between the limited hours, the finite season, the various characters we have to play, the masks and makeup and costumes that we wear, and the common goal of scaring the collective pee out of the unsuspecting public, the amount of room for such social barriers to develop diminishes greatly.

For the most part, then, we scareactors can enjoy our camaraderie and not worry about how our clothes look, whether our hair is fixed appropriately, if our voice sounds funny, or whether we’re being accepted into the “IT” crowd. As a result, the industry has a remarkable air of acceptance that is noticeably absent in most other facets of society as a whole, and to be able to escape into that alternate reality for a few hours each week is a breath of rotting-fresh air.

Hat OFF.

Glue On, Fill In, Creep Out

by: RFR Casket Crew Hatter 99

Last week I talked a bit about the value of experimentation in the haunting industry. This week I’m going to zoom in a bit more on one of my own off-season experiments from the past week.

Hat ON.

I remember way back, when I was a wee one, when I could smear grape jelly all over my face, and everyone would just laugh, comment on how cute I was, and then clean me up with a moisty nap. At some point, though, when I entered the public school system and had to begin to conform to society’s vision of a good citizen, that type of play was, for the most part, abolished. As much as I wanted to dig my fingers into the pudding on my lunch tray, draw little ghosts onto my face with my pen, and spread the contents of my little Heinz ketchup packets around my mouth, that type of activity would have been frowned upon. So I retreated to the safety of spelling and mathematics, and over the years in school I learned quite a bit of book-stuff. I don’t regret that one bit; however, that little fanciful child within still pokes my ribs sometimes, yearning to break free. How can I provide an escape for him, allowing him to vent that pent-up energy that has accumulated (and continues to accumulate) over all these years?

Well, thankfully the Halloween and Haunted Attractions industry comes to the rescue. I can scream at the public. I can wear clothes that don’t fit. I can forget the chemistry and calculus for a bit. I can smear stuff all over myself, and it’s accepted. Case in Point: Last weekend the little wild-child inside me became enamored with the oncoming Haunt season, so I decided to run out to Spirit Halloween, buy some makeup, and use my face as a morbid canvas for the afternoon. Was there a real-world reason for me to do this? No. Was I working in a Haunt that night? No. Did I have a costume party to go to? No. Was anybody going to see it in person? No (except for my cat). I just wanted to do it. So, I bought my makeup, turned up the Halloween music, and set out to glue toilet paper all over my face. Of course, the whole time I was envisioning teachers and parents, shaking their index fingers at me, insisting that Elmer’s school glue was meant for gluing cotton balls onto lambs made out of construction paper. And toilet paper, of course, was made to be used on other parts of the body, NOT on the face. But I imagined their disapproving stares, smiled slyly, and squirted even more glue onto my face. After an hour or so of gluing, shaping, and drying, I pulled out the base makeup to fill it all in, blobbing huge gobs of brown, purple, and yellow onto my cheeks and lining my eyes, nose, and lips with black. Then I ripped parts of the toilet paper, creating areas of morbidly delightful peeling skin, filling the wounds with red base makeup. Then, of course, the blood. Ah, the blood. By now I imagined the proponents of propriety turning their heads in disgust, so I gladly pulled out globs of thick blood and smeared it into the wounds before accenting them and my chin with stage blood. Finally a quick dabbing of my teeth with black paint finished the job.

I had no real plan for what this face was to become, so after a few moments of reflection I decided to make myself an evil elf. I grabbed a hat from my closet, blackened my neck, and that was it. I took a few photos, admired my work, and then peeled off the mask and cleaned up. I was quickly my “normal” self again, but the evident joy of that little freak inside me is clear in the photos. I enjoyed myself, and for a time, that placated me.

The result wasn’t perfect. The hat could have used some distressing work. And a few parts of my face needed some more makeup, but overall I was satisfied with what I had accomplished in a couple of hours. I’m still very new to the horror makeup processes, and while I’ve attended some seminars and watched numerous YouTube tutorials, I’ve found the most effective (and most enjoyable) means of learning is by experimentation. I don’t always have a plan for what I want to do. I just pull out the glue and start molding. And I take pictures so that I can study what I did and tweak my methods in the next session where needed. It’s a scientific method. It’s academia. Nothing wrong with it.

Now, I can feel the little rascal within me wriggling again. I think I’ll go make a cotton-ball-construction-paper lamb. Maybe I’ll decapitate it. The blood sticks to the cotton balls well. Lamb chops?

Take THAT Establishment.

Hat OFF.

If only we could ask Dr. Frankenstein about his “Abby Normal” Experimentations…

by: RFR Casket Crew Hatter 99

For some of us, IT’S HERE. For others (like myself), there are a couple of weeks or so to go until our haunts open. Whatever the case, the witching season is near…Here in Ohio there is a cool nip in the air, cornstalks reaching toward the stars, and Halloween superstores popping up everywhere. This week down the rabbit hole let’s discuss the importance of experimentation, while our neonatal Halloween season is still gooey and awaiting its newborn spank.

Hat ON.

Technically I only began my haunting career one year ago, so almost everything that I’m doing is still experimental for me. I expect that many veteran haunters with open minds are likewise constantly involved in similar experimentations. For a newbie haunter like me, though, I learn a thousand new things every night. From scaring methods to makeup techniques to dealing with difficult members of the public, there are multiple opportunities every night for experimentation. Thankfully, I’ve found that most haunts encourage their employees to experiment. Any good haunter will know if a particular technique is working in soliciting scares; likewise, any good haunter will want to experiment with a different technique if things aren’t going so well. Of course we all have our boundaries and are responsible for keeping within those boundaries, but it’s not like we’re assembling computer chips…There is no mathematical science in this gig. What works for one group might not work for the next, and one reason that haunt owners hire actors instead of buying animatronics is that we are capable of adapting to various situations. Is one hiding-place not creating a satisfactory number of scares?

Try somewhere else. Do groups keep bumping into each other at a certain point in the Haunt? Maybe they need to be sped up or slowed down somewhere through some creative acting. Devise a theory. Develop a plan. Test your hypothesis. EXPERIMENT. We’re not going to get 100% scares every time. If you’re a good haunter, you’ll know it, and you’ll get enough good scares to make up for the duds. We all know that some members of the public refuse to have fun and get scared in a haunt, and in those cases we can’t do anything about that, but in other cases it might be a genuine rift in the haunt itself that you, as an intelligent, problem-solving, living human upright thing can solve through experimenting.

Hat OFF.

A Rockin’ Way to Prep Your Limbs for the Haunting Season

by: RFR Casket Crew Hatter 99

In a few short weeks we as scareactors get to shine up our trusty black hauntin’-shoes, de-coagulate our fake blood, and scrape the crusty crud off of our makeup tubes. Mentally, we’re ready. Physically, perhaps not so much. So this week I’d like to share a fun way to get into nimble shape for the haunting season while perhaps fulfilling a lifelong dream that you might have.

Hat ON.

As a child of the 80s, I grew up identifying Michael Jackson’s Thriller as my all-time favorite music video, and it remains so to this day. Killer makeup + Vincent Price + Zombies dancing in the street. It’s a perfect mashup. I always loved that zombie dance sequence, and through the years I would sit on the couch and dream of doing those moves. A few years ago, as I was watching the video, I finally discovered that I actually had legs. I wiggled my right foot. And then I wiggled my left foot. And then–wait for it–YES! I wiggled them both. I stood up, rewound the video to the beginning, and tried to dance along with the video. My confidence quickly fizzled, though, when I discovered that it’s a friggin’ hard dance to do without any instruction. Distraught but still keen to learn, I Googled “How to do the Thriller dance.” After sifting through a few useless sites and smart aleck comments of “Watch the music video,” I found one site that looked promising, THRILL THE WORLD, an entire website devoted to teaching people how to do the dance, and it’s a FANTASTIC resource. The goal of the site is to gather as many people as possible to perform the iconic dance at the same time in their respective areas of the world, and within the site are a plethora of resources for teaching and learning the dance, including dance scripts and instructional videos. If you click “Learn the Dance,” you’ll be taken to a page where you can order the DVD or view all of the videos on YouTube. The instructor breaks the dance down into manageable little chunks, creatively naming each move (e.g. shuffle, hop, stare, roar), and instructing the dancer to say (out loud) those moves when learning the steps. It works like a charm, and in a few short days you’ll be able to mentally chant those moves as you are performing the dance alongside MJ in the video.

So, if you’re looking for a fun way to loosen up for the haunting season and don’t really want to hit up the boring old gym, you can cue up the videos and rot away in your living room. Pull the shades for some spooky darkness. Put on a costume and some makeup if you’re so inclined. And remember: You don’t have to normally be a dancer to have fun with this; after all, you’re playing a zombie, so you can stumble around and screw up your moves all you want, and nobody will be any the wiser. I have zero experience in dancing, but the way the lessons are structured with the emphasis in naming each movement rather than counting, I can do the dance now at will and will likely never forget the chants. That’ll come in handy when I’m six feet under and have a sudden hankering to climb up and do an impromptu performance in the street.

Hat OFF.

Infect Your Customers…Before Someone Else Does

by: RFR Casket Crew Hatter 99

This week let’s put ourselves into the shoes of the customers and try to figure out how we can infect those fresh little minds with incessant, head-pounding images of our haunts that will translate into sweet ticket sales.

Hat ON.

Most people’s budgets are tighter than ever these days, so while most Halloween enthusiasts would absolutely love to hit up every haunt within a thousand-mile radius every year, it’s just not feasible. With a limited amount of time, high gas prices, and tight budgets, most Halloween junkies plan carefully before embarking on their haunt jaunts. If they’ve experienced a haunt before and don’t have any reason to expect anything new this year, there is a huge possibility that the supposedly “stagnant” haunt will be stricken from their shortlist. Most haunts, of course, do enjoy various improvements during the off-season, the extent of which vary from one haunt to the next, but the haunters should always strive to avoid the stagnation stigma that becomes associated with various attractions. After all, we very rarely see a movie in the theater more than once. If it’s the same old show, what’s the point, especially if there are many fresh ones out there vying for our attention (and money)?

So, how can a haunt avoid that stigma? As both a Halloween enthusiast and someone deeply interested in the industry, I enjoy hearing about construction updates during the off-season. Whether you send an e-mail newsletter or provide updates via social media, snapping a quick picture and shooting it out to your customers with a little teaser of what’s going on will keep you fresh in their minds. Of course you don’t want to give away too much, so maybe the picture you snap is deliberately crooked, with something intriguing but somewhat fuzzy peeking its way into the frame at one corner of the picture. It might not be a totally radical change that you are teasing the audience with, but it’s (presumably) an improvement nonetheless, and your audience will realize that you are doing something new to the haunt this year. Most of the public likely assumes that you just walk into your haunt for the first time that season on opening night, unlock the doors, flip the lightswitch, and voila, it’s spookin’-time. They probably don’t realize the amount of love and work that goes into your attraction each and every off-season, so be proud of that dedication that you have, and let your audience in on it. At the very least, it will let them know that you will be open for business this year.

The Halloween Horror Nights Twitter feed (@HorrorNights) is a great example of an outlet that keeps its customers engaged, through games for followers to guess the themes and names of the new attractions, to construction updates, to acting tips. Everyone in the haunt industry knows about Halloween Horror Nights, so the event would still sell plenty of tickets without such a feed, but the organizers of the event recognize the need to keep themselves fresh in the audience’s mind. Even though your haunt probably doesn’t undergo as elaborate of a transformation every year as Halloween Horror Nights, it’s still vital to keep your haunt at the forefront of your potential customers’ minds as they are mapping out their haunted attraction plans. Let your sado-masochist tendencies take hold. Tease your customers. Tickle them lightly with little hints and games. We haunt enthusiasts love that. We don’t want to have all of the surprises spoiled before we get into the haunt, but we do want to know that there are indeed new surprises to be uncovered when we get there.

What other methods do haunters out there use to engage potential customers? What do some haunt enthusiasts out there like to see from the haunts during the off-season? Scream away in the comments.

Hat OFF.

No Disappearing Acts…It’s Just Not Cool

by: RFR Casket Crew Hatter 99

The time has come for me as a scareactor to build out my September/October calendar, ensuring that all of my days scheduled for costume fittings, rehearsals, and active haunting nights are free from all other earthly commitments.  As I’m sure that many others are doing the same, I want to offer a few tips on attendance.

Hat ON.

It’s true that we in the Haunt industry have a ton of fun at our jobs, probably more fun than is allowed by law.  The party-like atmosphere that we oftentimes enjoy makes makes it difficult for me to call it “Work.”  Of course it is in reality very hard work for everyone, but the connotation of “Work” implies something boring and not particularly rewarding.  For the next couple of moments, though, let’s associate what we do to the word “Work” and accept that we as scareactors need to exhibit a certain degree of professionalism, particularly when it comes to attendance.

The owners of the haunt hired us, either as paid employees or as volunteers, to perform as live entertainers inside their attractions.  When they hired us, most likely we committed to performing all nights or had a predetermined agreement for select nights so that they can plan accordingly.  I doubt that many haunts hire on a “show up if you want to” basis.  Sure, the owners could have instead invested in a brand new animatronic that will be there, on time, every night, but they recognize the value that live haunt actors have inside an attraction, and in turn we owe them a performance that won’t disappoint.

By recognizing the investment that the haunt owners make in us, hopefully that’s enough for you to drag your rotting carcass to the dressing room each night.  If you’re still considering skipping out to catch a football game, though, consider your fellow workers.  Unless you’re a a useless lump on a log, you probably have something valuable to offer your group.  And I’m willing to bet that anyone invested enough in the industry to be listening to Rotting Flesh Radio and browsing its website is probably someone who has some skills and is valued by his or her fellow workers.  So ignoring the few instances where we’re better off without Whiny Wilma or Lazy Larry, your fellow workers are counting on you to be there.  If you don’t show up, your spot might have to be filled by someone else.  Do the concessions people have to make due with one less person if one is called to fill your spot?  Does a scareactor in one position have to be called away to fill yours?  Or does a scareactor now have to cover double the area?  Logic tells us that two actors, both working hard, will be more effective than one overworked actor who is spread thinly.  Or maybe your spot will just be left empty for the evening.  In any of these cases, the overall experience of the haunt will be diminished.  Will patrons have to make due with a suspiciously unstaffed spooky hallway?  Will people have to wait an extra ten minutes in line for a funnel cake if the concession stand is understaffed? How would that then impact the ticket sales?  If people feel the haunt was understaffed, they’re probably not going to come back.  It’s a domino effect, because the absence of one person can’t be swept under the rug.

Of course there’s always the “circumstances beyond our control” clause.  Things happen, so always be sure to check with your supervisors on the emergency absence policies and procedures.  As professionals, though, it is absolutely imperative to never do a “no-show” without informing your supervisor.  A stunt like that will put you on the blacklist faster than that kid who always wears white shoes to work scare.

Hat OFF.

Haunted Housekeeping with Roseanne

by: RFR Casket Crew Hatter 99

Greetings Deadites.  We all know that it’s never too early (or too late) to watch some Halloween-themed TV shows, and as I was sifting through the endless hours of downright crum-crapto programs clogging the airwaves, I found a classic gem bouncing around in space that deserves a quick shout.

Hat ON.

Most of us are probably familiar with the sitcom Roseanne that ran from the late 80s to mid-90s, and I’m sure that many Deadites know that the annual Halloween shows became as iconic as The Simpsons‘ “Treehouse of Horror” specials.  For those Halloween junkies out there, though, who have not seen those episodes, perhaps because they didn’t grow up with the show or maybe because they didn’t particularly care for the sitcom in general, those Halloween-themed episodes are definitely worth a watch.  There was clearly a deep-rooted love of the Halloween season among the show’s writers and creators, and each of those episodes was crafted with even more love and attention than the more mainstream “Christmas” episodes that would have been featured on the traditional sitcoms.   The detailed sets and original costume designs, combined with the edgy humor of the show, created a memorable collection of Halloween tributes.  My favorite is the earliest one (“BOO!”) that showcases the family’s impressive home haunt and serves as a reminder that you don’t always need the most expensive equipment or technology to create an effective experience.  

If you have Netflix, you can stream these all now.  Or you could pick up the brand new Roseanne: Tricks & Treats Halloween collection DVD scheduled for release Sept. 27.  The 8 episodes to be on the lookout for are:

1. “BOO!”
2. “Trick Or Treat”
3. “Trick Me Up, Trick Me Down”
4. “Halloween IV”
5. “Halloween V”
6. “Skeleton in the Closet”
7. “Halloween – The Final Chapter”
8. “Satan, Darling”

Also as a quick final note, last fall’s Halloween episode from the current show Modern Family is also definitely worth a watch. Again featuring a home haunt and some impressive makeup and costuming, it’s clear that this show also harbors a fondness for the holiday and serves as another reassurance that a love for the holiday, NOT deep pockets, is the key to crafting a memorable experience.

Hat OFF.

“Here we are now…Entertain us.” A Deadite’s Guide to Fall TV.

by:RFR Casket Crew Hatter 99

It’s getting closer, Deadites.  This past weekend the haunt where I work kicked its preparations into full swing.  From now through Halloween, it’ll be full steam ahead there, and I can feel the little orb of excitement in the pit of my stomach growing.  While we in the live haunted attraction entertainment industry are working feverishly to ring in the new season with a bang, our friends in other facets of the entertainment industry are doing the same, especially in television.  This year is shaping up to be a stellar year for spooky entertainment on television, and while I was disappointed that FOX didn’t pick up Locke & Key, I’m still very stoked with the multitude of offerings that we will have, proving that the interest in all things creepy is growing exponentially, perhaps because now more than ever we all need rabbit holes through which we can escape reality.  Since our minds will primarily be on polishing our haunts when the new television season begins, I’ve compiled a little rundown below of what I’m looking forward to in particular, both in new and returning shows, to which I can unwind in November once I’ve scrubbed the bodily fluids from the floors of my Haunt and picked the last of the coloring out of my hair.  I’m sure that some of these shows will quickly prove to be more successful than others, but with the amount we have to choose from, there surely have to be at least a couple of winners here.

Hat ON.

Alcatraz (FOX, Premieres 2012):  Currently planned as a 2012 midseason replacement, this series will investigate the strange reappearance of a group of Alcatraz prisoners and workers.  J.J. Abrams (Lost, Fringe) is an Executive Producer.

American Horror Story (FX, Premieres Oct. 5):  Details on this one are still a bit sketchy, but it sounds killer.  A family with real problems of its own moves into a haunted house…I’m sold.  The brief teasers that they have tossed to us are stylishly creepy, and given FX’s abilities to push the envelope, I’m definitely in for this one.

Fringe (FOX, Returns Sept. 23, Airs Fridays @ 9ET):  This is slightly out of the Haunt league, but I expect there are plenty of sci-fi fans out there who are looking forward to the return of one of the most consistently best-written series to hit the airwaves.

Grimm (NBC, Premieres Oct. 21, Airs Fridays @ 9ET): This series claims to bring Grimm characters of lore to the present day, mixing them with current situations and adding a dose of police procedural storytelling.  It sounds like this will probably start out as a Monster-of-the-Week type of show which is oftentimes fun.

The River (ABC, Premieres 2012)  Another midseason replacement, this series filmed as a documentary chronicles a family’s search for its patriarch who has gone missing somewhere in the Amazon, yielding a shocking, deadly discovery.  Details are a bit vague, but of course with Oren Peli (Paranormal Activity) as an Executive Producer, this is worth a look.

Supernatural (CW, Returns Sept. 23, Airs Fridays @ 9ET): Monsters, battles between angels and demons, clashes between heaven and hell.  It’s a nice reminder that there are other families out there with endless strife.

The Walking Dead (AMC, Returns Oct. 16 @ 9ET): No explanation needed here.  It’s gonna rock.

There are a few others out there that as of right now aren’t on my watch list, such as The Secret Circle (CW), Once Upon a Time (ABC), or Awake (NBC), though other Deadites might enjoy them. So did I leave out any that you’re looking forward to?  Speak up in the comments.

Hat OFF.

A Mother’s Love

by: RFR Casket Crew Denise

Jack’s mother was sick. Sick of all of it. After a number of warnings and pleas, she knew she wasn’t being taken seriously. Now was the time to act. To take action.

Jackie paced around the small kitchen. She was absolutely furious. The magazine lay on the round wooden table turned to the back pages. Columns of ads adorn the two pages facing each other. One was circled in red. It was a simple ad. Just three simple words. ‘I can help.’ followed by a telephone number. Jackie left the kitchen.

Walking into the simple living room, Jackie sat heavily on the worn brown couch. A small blume of dust rose from the cushion. She hit the back of the couch and more dust rose up into the air before disbursing over the other seat cushions. She grabbed the TV remote and click the red button before the batteries fell out. The television hummed to life, but the sound of the soap opera didn’t ease the storm brewing in her heart nor the final decision racing through her thoughts.

Well, now was the time to do something about it. Jackie rose from the couch, slapped the button on the face of the TV and returned to the kitchen. She grabbed the magazine, folded it in half and walked to the corded phone hanging loosely on the yellow stained wall. She lifted the receiver and heard a distinct hum echo into the silent clean kitchen. Without hesitation, Jackie punched in the numbers and listened as the phone rang.

“Hello.” A gruff man’s voice answered on the third ring.

“Hello,” Jackie said weakly, “I need some help. I don’t know what else to do.”

“I can help,” the man reassured her.

Jackie talked with the unseen man for the next hour. She talked and he listened, interupting only to ask essential questions. Jackie answered them all. She gave him all the info. She even went to the corner store to fax a photo the man had requested.

Returning to the apartment, Jackie leaned against the front door. It groaned against her weight and she thought she heard a small crack. She sighed with relief. She had done it. She had hired a hit man.

Jackie returned to the living room and clicked on the TV. She sat down with satisfaction. Being a mother meant dishing out tough love sometimes. That’s just how it is. After all, Jack was warned not to fail another math test.

“Yeah yeah. We’ll worry about the ‘no heartbeat’ thing later, Doc. Look, my legs REALLY hurt.”

by: RFR Casket Crew Hatter 99

Jumping headfirst into the Haunt Industry can create many unexpected shocks for a newbie, so I’ll share a couple of physical shocks that I encountered in my first few weeks of scareacting.

Hat ON.

First, I’m not really a late-nighter during most of the year; I usually start nodding off around 11 PM (of course while watching something creepy-kooky-spooky on TV like The X-Files or a Freddy movie, in case some of you were nearly ready to revoke my Creeper license).  So, the first time I was up until 1 AM doing my scareacting it was admittedly quite a shock to me.  Of course, I was having a blast, but I couldn’t help but feel like my body was in sleepwalking mode for the last couple of hours.  And boy did those hours drag on.  Again, I was having unprecedented thrills watching people retreat into the fetal position which continually refueled my energy, but I definitely began to realize how hard the work actually is.

After just a couple of nights, I happily discovered that the late-night fatigue had diminished significantly.  The remarkable human body adapts quickly to new conditions, and my desire for sleep had automatically shifted a few hours later.  All good there.  But something else was happening that was a bit more troubling–and painful.

My location involved a ton of pop-scares.  Scrunch down, jump out, say some lines, quickly reset, and repeat for the next group.  Unfortunately my Richard Simmons’ Squattin’ in the Spookhouse tape was buried deep in the closet, so I had been using muscles that I hadn’t really used much before, and after a couple of nights of those continual squat-pops, for hours on end, I found my legs hurting immensely, and I thought, “Oh fiddlesticks; am I dying?” (which wouldn’t really make much of a difference with my final career goals, as I do plan to come back after I’m dead to haunt places, but I do admittedly have unfinished business in the mortal realm).  During the day I would grunt in pain as I stood up like an old arthritic man, and going up and down steps was an ordeal to which I contemplated installing one of those little mechanical chairs that putters up and down the stairwell.  Being in my mid-20s, I was a bit concerned that I was retreating into old age a bit prematurely.

So, I consulted my physician (Dr. Google, MD), to see what was happening, and to my relief I discovered that what was happening to me was a perfectly common condition called DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness) that exhibits its symptoms (tightness and soreness in the legs) a day or two AFTER performing a new type of exercise.  It’s not Haunter-specific, of course, but I can certainly see it being a common occurrence when we’re contorting ourselves into positions that aren’t normal for us the rest of the year.

So how do you avoid it?  Well, I don’t think there’s a way to completely prevent it.  When it happened, some light stretching alleviated it very slightly for me, but the best healing method that I found was just to ride it out.  It’ll hurt for a few days, and every time you move you might cringe a little (but hey, that just enhances your scaring performance, right?). After a week or so, though, the remarkable human body will adapt, and you’ll be as good as new again.  And then the next year shouldn’t be nearly as bad, since your body has already adapted once to those conditions.  I might even try setting up a little tombstone in my living room and spending some evenings in early September squatting and popping out at my cat, just to prime myself.  Some spooks out there might even like getting a case of DOMS, having a painful “battle scar” to limp around with for a few days, evidence of the hard work that we put in for our public, and some sadomasochists might boast that it “hurts so good.”

So you’re not dying!  Most of us would probably classify that as good news.  The human body is an amazing machine, and it’s good to know that our rotting flesh will not prevent us from having a great time scaring the pants off all of those “normals” out there.

Hat OFF.