It’s here…Well, it’s here for me at least. Last week I reunited with my morbid “family” for some good old-fashioned pants-peeing fear-mongering. As I settled into my groove and became acquainted with my fellow scareactors, it reminded me of a fundamental reason why I love the industry so much.

Hat ON.

Many of us involved in the haunt industry are not, as some would believe, vampires who sleep all day and stalk all night. Most of us have day jobs (or school responsibilities) during the “normal” waking hours, venues that are rife with politics, cliques, and endless drama. Spending all day, every day, with the same group of people is the ideal incubator for those social diseases that can suck a lot of fun out of life. In the haunt industry, though, I work with my fellow scareactors only a couple of days a week for only one and a half months out of the year. That’s not to say that it completely prohibits the growth of those social parasites; no, they are clearly alive and well, but between the limited hours, the finite season, the various characters we have to play, the masks and makeup and costumes that we wear, and the common goal of scaring the collective pee out of the unsuspecting public, the amount of room for such social barriers to develop diminishes greatly.

Goatman Hollow's Twisted Family (photo: HA Mag)

For the most part, then, we scareactors can enjoy our camaraderie and not worry about how our clothes look, whether our hair is fixed appropriately, if our voice sounds funny, or whether we’re being accepted into the “IT” crowd. As a result, the industry has a remarkable air of acceptance that is noticeably absent in most other facets of society as a whole, and to be able to escape into that alternate reality for a few hours each week is a breath of rotting-fresh air.

Hat OFF.

Last week I talked a bit about the value of experimentation in the haunting industry. This week I’m going to zoom in a bit more on one of my own off-season experiments from the past week.

Hat ON.

Your Zombie Prom Date

I remember way back, when I was a wee one, when I could smear grape jelly all over my face, and everyone would just laugh, comment on how cute I was, and then clean me up with a moisty nap. At some point, though, when I entered the public school system and had to begin to conform to society’s vision of a good citizen, that type of play was, for the most part, abolished. As much as I wanted to dig my fingers into the pudding on my lunch tray, draw little ghosts onto my face with my pen, and spread the contents of my little Heinz ketchup packets around my mouth, that type of activity would have been frowned upon. So I retreated to the safety of spelling and mathematics, and over the years in school I learned quite a bit of book-stuff. I don’t regret that one bit; however, that little fanciful child within still pokes my ribs sometimes, yearning to break free. How can I provide an escape for him, allowing him to vent that pent-up energy that has accumulated (and continues to accumulate) over all these years?

Well, thankfully the Halloween and Haunted Attractions industry comes to the rescue. I can scream at the public. I can wear clothes that don’t fit. I can forget the chemistry and calculus for a bit. I can smear stuff all over myself, and it’s accepted. Case in Point: Last weekend the little wild-child inside me became enamored with the oncoming Haunt season, so I decided to run out to Spirit Halloween, buy some makeup, and use my face as a morbid canvas for the afternoon. Was there a real-world reason for me to do this? No. Was I working in a Haunt that night? No. Did I have a costume party to go to? No. Was anybody going to see it in person? No (except for my cat). I just wanted to do it. So, I bought my makeup, turned up the Halloween music, and set out to glue toilet paper all over my face. Of course, the whole time I was envisioning teachers and parents, shaking their index fingers at me, insisting that Elmer’s school glue was meant for gluing cotton balls onto lambs made out of construction paper. And toilet paper, of course, was made to be used on other parts of the body, NOT on the face. But I imagined their disapproving stares, smiled slyly, and squirted even more glue onto my face. After an hour or so of gluing, shaping, and drying, I pulled out the base makeup to fill it all in, blobbing huge gobs of brown, purple, and yellow onto my cheeks and lining my eyes, nose, and lips with black. Then I ripped parts of the toilet paper, creating areas of morbidly delightful peeling skin, filling the wounds with red base makeup. Then, of course, the blood. Ah, the blood. By now I imagined the proponents of propriety turning their heads in disgust, so I gladly pulled out globs of thick blood and smeared it into the wounds before accenting them and my chin with stage blood. Finally a quick dabbing of my teeth with black paint finished the job.

The undead Stalker

The result wasn’t perfect. The hat could have used some distressing work. And a few parts of my face needed some more makeup, but overall I was satisfied with what I had accomplished in a couple of hours. I’m still very new to the horror makeup processes, and while I’ve attended some seminars and watched numerous YouTube tutorials, I’ve found the most effective (and most enjoyable) means of learning is by experimentation. I don’t always have a plan for what I want to do. I just pull out the glue and start molding. And I take pictures so that I can study what I did and tweak my methods in the next session where needed. It’s a scientific method. It’s academia. Nothing wrong with it.

Now, I can feel the little rascal within me wriggling again. I think I’ll go make a cotton-ball-construction-paper lamb. Maybe I’ll decapitate it. The blood sticks to the cotton balls well. Lamb chops?

Take THAT Establishment.

Hat OFF.

Haunt Season is Drawing Near

For some of us, IT’S HERE. For others (like myself), there are a couple of weeks or so to go until our haunts open. Whatever the case, the witching season is near…Here in Ohio there is a cool nip in the air, cornstalks reaching toward the stars, and Halloween superstores popping up everywhere. This week down the rabbit hole let’s discuss the importance of experimentation, while our neonatal Halloween season is still gooey and awaiting its newborn spank.

Hat ON.

Technically I only began my haunting career one year ago, so almost everything that I’m doing is still experimental for me. I expect that many veteran haunters with open minds are likewise constantly involved in similar experimentations. For a newbie haunter like me, though, I learn a thousand new things every night. From scaring methods to makeup techniques to dealing with difficult members of the public, there are multiple opportunities every night for experimentation. Thankfully, I’ve found that most haunts encourage their employees to experiment. Any good haunter will know if a particular technique is working in soliciting scares; likewise, any good haunter will want to experiment with a different technique if things aren’t going so well. Of course we all have our boundaries and are responsible for keeping within those boundaries, but it’s not like we’re assembling computer chips…There is no mathematical science in this gig. What works for one group might not work for the next, and one reason that haunt owners hire actors instead of buying animatronics is that we are capable of adapting to various situations. Is one hiding-place not creating a satisfactory number of scares?

Plant Monster from Evilusions

Hat OFF.

Thriller ' A Horror Pop Classic'

In a few short weeks we as scareactors get to shine up our trusty black hauntin’-shoes, de-coagulate our fake blood, and scrape the crusty crud off of our makeup tubes. Mentally, we’re ready. Physically, perhaps not so much. So this week I’d like to share a fun way to get into nimble shape for the haunting season while perhaps fulfilling a lifelong dream that you might have.

Hat ON.

As a child of the 80s, I grew up identifying Michael Jackson’s Thriller as my all-time favorite music video, and it remains so to this day. Killer makeup + Vincent Price + Zombies dancing in the street. It’s a perfect mashup. I always loved that zombie dance sequence, and through the years I would sit on the couch and dream of doing those moves. A few years ago, as I was watching the video, I finally discovered that I actually had legs. I wiggled my right foot. And then I wiggled my left foot. And then–wait for it–YES! I wiggled them both. I stood up, rewound the video to the beginning, and tried to dance along with the video. My confidence quickly fizzled, though, when I discovered that it’s a friggin’ hard dance to do without any instruction. Distraught but still keen to learn, I Googled “How to do the Thriller dance.” After sifting through a few useless sites and smart aleck comments of “Watch the music video,” I found one site that looked promising, THRILL THE WORLD, an entire website devoted to teaching people how to do the dance, and it’s a FANTASTIC resource. The goal of the site is to gather as many people as possible to perform the iconic dance at the same time in their respective areas of the world, and within the site are a plethora of resources for teaching and learning the dance, including dance scripts and instructional videos. If you click “Learn the Dance,” you’ll be taken to a page where you can order the DVD or view all of the videos on YouTube. The instructor breaks the dance down into manageable little chunks, creatively naming each move (e.g. shuffle, hop, stare, roar), and instructing the dancer to say (out loud) those moves when learning the steps. It works like a charm, and in a few short days you’ll be able to mentally chant those moves as you are performing the dance alongside MJ in the video.

Learn How to Monster Dance

So, if you’re looking for a fun way to loosen up for the haunting season and don’t really want to hit up the boring old gym, you can cue up the videos and rot away in your living room. Pull the shades for some spooky darkness. Put on a costume and some makeup if you’re so inclined. And remember: You don’t have to normally be a dancer to have fun with this; after all, you’re playing a zombie, so you can stumble around and screw up your moves all you want, and nobody will be any the wiser. I have zero experience in dancing, but the way the lessons are structured with the emphasis in naming each movement rather than counting, I can do the dance now at will and will likely never forget the chants. That’ll come in handy when I’m six feet under and have a sudden hankering to climb up and do an impromptu performance in the street.

Hat OFF.

SHOW NOTES FOR THE WEEK OF SEPTEMBER 2, 2011 SHOW #244

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THIS WEEK’S SHOW NOTES:
We are mere weeks away from haunts opening their doors for the season and to get our haunt on this week we have a body bag jam packed for you. To begin we have Haunted Europe back on location with real Haunted Attractions in Scotland! And as many of you haunt owners are gearing up to open your doors, Scare Actors are important in bringing that event to life, so we have The Unknown Scare Actor here with a Scare Actor Spotlight talking with the Blood King Mathias from the Lexington Screampark. They talk scare acting, the Screampark and getting ready to terrify patrons this season.

RFR Casket Crew’s Storm is back with a rant In A Haunt Minute and there is a ton of Haunt Industry News covering the RFR Site, The Fear at Fenway, Spookyworld, The Mortuary Haunted House, The Ghosthunters, Scarehouse Haunted Attraction, Creepy Collection, Deadly Dolls, Paranormal Event at Knotts Scary Farm, Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party, The Lexington Screampark, Zombie Manor Haunted House, Bulletproof Haunt’s Bane, Heidi Klum, Trick or Treat for Unicef, York PA’s Halloween Parade, Costumes for Kids, Threadless Tees, Halloween Births, Toxic Toons, Monsterpieces App, Houston Zombie Walk, Total Skull, and more from the Halloween, Haunt and Horror Industries this week.

We have RFR Pierce here with Fresh Meat calling all Arx Mortis Scare Actors and we bring you Deadite Listener Emails and Feedback. Jigsaw Jim reviews Birdemic in the Rancid Reviews of Sinister Cinema.

There are ALL-NEW Rules to Win the Screamline Studios Graverobbing Giveaway and Twisted Tunes from the Grave.

So all you Fright Freaks, Haunters and Halloween Junkies, you can…
Sit Back, Relax and Rot Away to Rotting Flesh Radio!

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Bulletproof Haunt's BANE

The Haunt Season for many events opens in just under two weeks. With that, many events are looking for crew, make up artists and more. And many events are ALL-NEW for 2011. One of those is the brand new event in New Jersey, BULLETPROOF HAUNTS ‘BANE’.

This brand new event in NJ, is ready to kick the scare into you this season. Alot of hard work, sweat, building and hard work has gone into this event.

Right now they are looking to fill the need to scare by searching out Scare Actors, and Make Up Artists for their staff. These positions are for your haunt actors, scare actors and halloween enthusiasts to bring their scare talent to a haunt, become part of a haunt, and get your foot into the door of the Haunt Industry. In addition, they are looking for you talented Make Up Artists out there. They need you to help bring their monsters to life during the event.

If interested contact BulletProof Haunts at: BulletProofHaunts.com

The All-New Bulletproof Haunt's BANE in NJ

Be sure to check out this new event during the 2011 Season:

Tickets:
$15.00 General Admission

$3.00 Happily Haunted
Children 12 and under and children must be
accompanied by an adult. Coupon does not apply.

$25.00 V.I.Z. (Very Important Zombie)
With this ticket you’re escorted by one of our
undead to the front of the line. And you also
get a cool gift bag. Coupon does not apply.

Hours:

6pm-7pm – Happily Haunted
7pm-12am – Main Event

ABOUT BULLETPROOF HAUNTS ‘BANE’:
In a dark desolate house deep in the woods of Livingston, New Jersey, lived a quiet family of four, the Bane’s. There was Judy Bane, the mother who worked nights at a local diner. Michael Bane, a frustrated scientist, who worked tirelessly at trying to find the cure for the common cold. Jack Bane, a young introverted boy with few friends, and last but not least there was Jennifer Bane, a beautiful girl with skin that looked like it was made of porcelain. Feeling as if red tape and lack of vision was hampering his research, Mr. Bane decided to quit his job at the local hospital and began running trial tests on animals in his lab desperately seeking a cure. One cold evening, Jennifer sneaks into the barn and starts to play with one of the rabbits her father has been testing. All of a sudden, the rabbit sinks his teeth into her and takes a bite of Jennifer’s hand. A few days go by and Jennifer has yet to tell her parents that she has been bitten, instead she has been hiding out in her room because she’s been experiencing some unusual sensations. She’s tired, feverish, and hungry…hungry for blood. One fateful morning, Mr. Bane decides to check in on his animals in the family barn and he notices that all of their cages have been opened and some of the animals have been torn to shreds. He thinks to himself that either a bear or wolves from the woods must have entered the barn at night and killed the animals, until he notices his beautiful daughter Jennifer hiding under one of his lab tables. Mr. Bane reaches out to her only to notice that half of her face is missing and she’s sitting in a pool of blood. To his surprise, Jennifer has been feeding on his test animals. As Mr. Bane tries to coax Jennifer out of her hiding place, she lunges at him and begins to feed on his body.

A week goes by and a local NJ high school decided to take a camping trip. A group of kids stray away from their group and stumbles upon the dark desolate house in the woods and notice a foul stench coming from inside. They enter, only to find the bodies of Judy Bane, Jack Bane, and Michael Bane torn to shreds, covered in flies. But where is their young beautiful daughter, Jennifer? The police thought the family was mauled by a bear or a pack of wolves, but when the saliva from their wounds was tested, there was no evidence of animal DNA, but instead the saliva was from a human…

The time has come for me as a scareactor to build out my September/October calendar, ensuring that all of my days scheduled for costume fittings, rehearsals, and active haunting nights are free from all other earthly commitments.  As I’m sure that many others are doing the same, I want to offer a few tips on attendance.

Hat ON.

Terror on the Fox Haunted Attraction

It’s true that we in the Haunt industry have a ton of fun at our jobs, probably more fun than is allowed by law.  The party-like atmosphere that we oftentimes enjoy makes makes it difficult for me to call it “Work.”  Of course it is in reality very hard work for everyone, but the connotation of “Work” implies something boring and not particularly rewarding.  For the next couple of moments, though, let’s associate what we do to the word “Work” and accept that we as scareactors need to exhibit a certain degree of professionalism, particularly when it comes to attendance.

The owners of the haunt hired us, either as paid employees or as volunteers, to perform as live entertainers inside their attractions.  When they hired us, most likely we committed to performing all nights or had a predetermined agreement for select nights so that they can plan accordingly.  I doubt that many haunts hire on a “show up if you want to” basis.  Sure, the owners could have instead invested in a brand new animatronic that will be there, on time, every night, but they recognize the value that live haunt actors have inside an attraction, and in turn we owe them a performance that won’t disappoint.

Lexington Screampark Haunted Attraction

By recognizing the investment that the haunt owners make in us, hopefully that’s enough for you to drag your rotting carcass to the dressing room each night.  If you’re still considering skipping out to catch a football game, though, consider your fellow workers.  Unless you’re a a useless lump on a log, you probably have something valuable to offer your group.  And I’m willing to bet that anyone invested enough in the industry to be listening to Rotting Flesh Radio and browsing its website is probably someone who has some skills and is valued by his or her fellow workers.  So ignoring the few instances where we’re better off without Whiny Wilma or Lazy Larry, your fellow workers are counting on you to be there.  If you don’t show up, your spot might have to be filled by someone else.  Do the concessions people have to make due with one less person if one is called to fill your spot?  Does a scareactor in one position have to be called away to fill yours?  Or does a scareactor now have to cover double the area?  Logic tells us that two actors, both working hard, will be more effective than one overworked actor who is spread thinly.  Or maybe your spot will just be left empty for the evening.  In any of these cases, the overall experience of the haunt will be diminished.  Will patrons have to make due with a suspiciously unstaffed spooky hallway?  Will people have to wait an extra ten minutes in line for a funnel cake if the concession stand is understaffed? How would that then impact the ticket sales?  If people feel the haunt was understaffed, they’re probably not going to come back.  It’s a domino effect, because the absence of one person can’t be swept under the rug.

Of course there’s always the “circumstances beyond our control” clause.  Things happen, so always be sure to check with your supervisors on the emergency absence policies and procedures.  As professionals, though, it is absolutely imperative to never do a “no-show” without informing your supervisor.  A stunt like that will put you on the blacklist faster than that kid who always wears white shoes to work scare.

Hat OFF.

The Transworld Haunt Show in St. Louis 2012

Once the Haunt Season has wrapped, and the haunts are torn down, or boxed for the winter, every haunter takes a deep breath and sighs. It’s over. That’s when planning begins once again for both vendors and haunters. And this kicks off with the Annual Transworld Haunt Show.

Every year the Transworld event brings some of the top vendors, seminars, haunt tours and more to the table. This is the event where many haunters will attend only this tradeshow. And it is just that, a tradeshow. One thing Transworld is, is a buyers show. This is the place where many vendors will debut all-new products for the season, haunters and get fresh ideas, buy in bulk and most vendors gain 65% of their annual sales.

There will be more information coming in the upcoming weeks and once again Rotting Flesh Radio is a sponsor and will be vending on the tradeshow floor.

Well all-new to show you just want the Annual Transworld Haunt Show is, they have released their new promo video to pump you up for the 2012 event. (CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO ROTTING FLESH RADIO’S LIVE TRANSWORLD COVERAGE)

(Click Here to See the Transworld Haunt Show Promo 2012 Video)

So as you can see, it is time to gear up, get stoked, and most of all get through this season, but then prepare for the Annual Transworld Haunt Show. For more information on Transworld visit: www.HAAShow.com. The Haunted Attractions and Halloween Industry opens for business March 8-11, 2012.

ABOUT TRANSWORLD’S HAUNT SHOW:
“Whether you are opening a haunted attraction for the first time, or are a seasoned veteran, the Transworld Halloween and Attractions show is a must see event. This is the only trade show that features vendors, from across the nation and overseas, that cover every aspect of our business, from ticketing to makeup and sound FX to giant animatronics. If you are a pro haunter, or want to become one, you cannot afford to miss this event.” – Randy Bates, owner The Bates Motel haunt.

For the last 16 years, TransWorld’s annual Halloween & Attractions Show has been a “must attend” event in the Halloween & Haunt industries. This year is no exception!

During these four days in March, the Haunt industry will gather to network, get new ideas and approaches, purchase product, compare horror stories and have a solid great time!

One thing that brings a haunt to life is its’ actors. It is these talented people that put the scare, terror and fear into your event. These Scare Actors deserve some spotlight, because without them, animatronics, makeup, details and webs wouldn’t come to life and scare your customers. If you would like your character to be featured be sure to email us at: news @ rfrpodcast.com and put “Scare Actor Spotlight” in the subject head.

In keeping with our Rotting Flesh Radio Scare Actor Spotlight we have another mad man to introduce to you. THE BLOOD KING MATHIAS of LEXINGTON SCREAMPARK.

Lexington Screampark

About Jay Neal – The Scare Actor:
“I’ve been a home haunted and Halloween enthusiast since i can remember. My first experience in a haunted house was universal’s Halloween Horror Nights, after that I was hooked I went every year then I moved north to Lexington, KY and wanted to cross over into professional haunting. I joined up in 2010 with Tyler and Ed’s Lexington Screampark and I’ve grown to love it more than HHN. Combine my love for making Medieval Armor with acting, Mathias is a direct result of that.

The Blood King Mathias:

Field report,

In 1224, a warrior rose to the role of king in the country of Masovia. A frigid and hard land, Masovia was politically in anarchy with the lords fighting amongst themselves. The warrior known as Mathias made a name for his prowess on the battlefield and for his devotion to his men. After fighting many useless wars for his lord, Mathias saw that the only way Masovia would ever be a unified nation, a single ruler would have to rise.

He set forth with his men to bring down the current noble class and unite his land. A swift victory was achieved over most of the land by Mathias and his men, and the castle Torún was chosen as his military base. Mathias knew that his reign would be in jeopardy if he did not bring the remaining nobles down. Here, the story takes a dark turn.

The Blood King Mathias of Lexington Screampark

Mathias held a celebration tournament thrown in honor of his victory, there was to be music, dancing, food, wine, and general merriment was to be had by all…for a while, at least. On the second evening of the event, he had the nobles and their families kidnapped from their beds to be beheaded and impaled upon stakes. The next morning, Mathias addressed the people in front of the bodies.

“For too long has the nobility of this land robbed the common people of their lives…! See them now, as they have been brought to justice…!” The speech carried on in this fashion, interjected only by the cheers from the people as he spoke. As the peasants cheered, they felt that for the first time they had escaped oppression. This was to be a short-lived felling for them.

As time went on, Mathias’ law became harsh and his punishment harsher yet. The people lived in fear of his iron fist and his cruel punishments. These included hanging, being drawn and quartered, impalement, being skinned alive, and entombment in the castle walls, among many others too gruesome to be mentioned.

He grew to be known as the “Blood King” by his enemies and his people. In 1241, he was murdered by a rival general, who then scattered the Blood King’s armor, shield, sword, and crown throughout the kingdom. With the Blood King’s final breaths, he swore that he would come back with every Nightmare, demon, and beast from Hell to extract his revenge upon those who would betray him.

With that, his reign came to a bloody end. However, there is a legend that says his very soul is in the armor, shield, sword, and crown taken from him the night he was slaughtered. It goes on to say that if they were ever reunited, the Blood King would rise, bringing with him an army of the dead and humanity would be lost.

After his death, the local clerics tried to bury the knowledge of Mathias and his accursed armaments. Their efforts proved useless as in 1983, archeologists uncovered writings from a monk discussing the locations of the “Nameless King”, and a search started for the resting place of these items.

The armor and sword were recovered and put on display in the British Museum for a time, until they were later put in storage, coming up missing in 1996. The crown and shield resurfaced in 2006 and were auctioned off to private collector, who reported them stolen a short time later. It is alleged that a haunted attraction in Lexington, Kentucky; called SCREAMPARK; has located and reunited these items in their attraction, the Castle of Fear. These poor souls do not realize what they have released. I intend to travel there to warn them…my only hope is that I am not too late..

I will report back with my findings, whether they be grievous or joyous. Let us hope for the latter.

Robert Walker
Paranormal Investigator London Society for Paranormal Research

Mr. Walker is far to late I am here and I await him and all the fools that enter my castle. The forest of the impaled will rise, and the river’s of blood will flow.

Join the Blood King on Facebook:
KING BLOOD MATHIAS ON FACEBOOK

Visit Lexington Screampark’s Official Website at:
www.ScaryLexington.com

Jumping headfirst into the Haunt Industry can create many unexpected shocks for a newbie, so I’ll share a couple of physical shocks that I encountered in my first few weeks of scareacting.

Hat ON.

First, I’m not really a late-nighter during most of the year; I usually start nodding off around 11 PM (of course while watching something creepy-kooky-spooky on TV like The X-Files or a Freddy movie, in case some of you were nearly ready to revoke my Creeper license).  So, the first time I was up until 1 AM doing my scareacting it was admittedly quite a shock to me.  Of course, I was having a blast, but I couldn’t help but feel like my body was in sleepwalking mode for the last couple of hours.  And boy did those hours drag on.  Again, I was having unprecedented thrills watching people retreat into the fetal position which continually refueled my energy, but I definitely began to realize how hard the work actually is.

After just a couple of nights, I happily discovered that the late-night fatigue had diminished significantly.  The remarkable human body adapts quickly to new conditions, and my desire for sleep had automatically shifted a few hours later.  All good there.  But something else was happening that was a bit more troubling–and painful.

Top Industry Scare Actors: Chad Savage & Colt of Terror on the Fox

My location involved a ton of pop-scares.  Scrunch down, jump out, say some lines, quickly reset, and repeat for the next group.  Unfortunately my Richard Simmons’ Squattin’ in the Spookhouse tape was buried deep in the closet, so I had been using muscles that I hadn’t really used much before, and after a couple of nights of those continual squat-pops, for hours on end, I found my legs hurting immensely, and I thought, “Oh fiddlesticks; am I dying?” (which wouldn’t really make much of a difference with my final career goals, as I do plan to come back after I’m dead to haunt places, but I do admittedly have unfinished business in the mortal realm).  During the day I would grunt in pain as I stood up like an old arthritic man, and going up and down steps was an ordeal to which I contemplated installing one of those little mechanical chairs that putters up and down the stairwell.  Being in my mid-20s, I was a bit concerned that I was retreating into old age a bit prematurely.

So, I consulted my physician (Dr. Google, MD), to see what was happening, and to my relief I discovered that what was happening to me was a perfectly common condition called DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness) that exhibits its symptoms (tightness and soreness in the legs) a day or two AFTER performing a new type of exercise.  It’s not Haunter-specific, of course, but I can certainly see it being a common occurrence when we’re contorting ourselves into positions that aren’t normal for us the rest of the year.

Scareacting Workouts to look like Resident Evil

So how do you avoid it?  Well, I don’t think there’s a way to completely prevent it.  When it happened, some light stretching alleviated it very slightly for me, but the best healing method that I found was just to ride it out.  It’ll hurt for a few days, and every time you move you might cringe a little (but hey, that just enhances your scaring performance, right?). After a week or so, though, the remarkable human body will adapt, and you’ll be as good as new again.  And then the next year shouldn’t be nearly as bad, since your body has already adapted once to those conditions.  I might even try setting up a little tombstone in my living room and spending some evenings in early September squatting and popping out at my cat, just to prime myself.  Some spooks out there might even like getting a case of DOMS, having a painful “battle scar” to limp around with for a few days, evidence of the hard work that we put in for our public, and some sadomasochists might boast that it “hurts so good.”

So you’re not dying!  Most of us would probably classify that as good news.  The human body is an amazing machine, and it’s good to know that our rotting flesh will not prevent us from having a great time scaring the pants off all of those “normals” out there.

Hat OFF.