What Not to Take to a Ren Faire by the Rambling Storm

The Often Submitted Ramblings From: STORM

Greetings Deadites,

Well I did what all good haunters do with a free September afternoon; I went to a Renaissance Faire. Great time, turkey legs, sword fights, cleavage, all what you would expect at a Renaissance Faire, but there was some stuff that just didn’t belong.

Coffee Cans – Hey you need your caffeine when running around in armor, but could we find something more period for the jousting knights to use as target practice then coffee cans?

InuYasha – Ok, so nobody dressed like that yet, but the guy serving us fried dough had on dog ears and a raccoon tail, so this needs to be nipped in the bud.

Tiny Pixie Wings – Here’s some good advice for all occasions. If something would fit on the back of your dog, don’t wear it yourself!! I’m not even talking about the kid sized fairy wings that people wear; these things had an 8” wingspan. Maybe, maybe if you have a petite frame it might not look insane, but the 40 year old 200 pound guy wearing them, just wrong!

Southern Bells – Yup… like at the Kentucky Derby, 3 of them. We need to start teaching History in “skool” again.

Jack Sparrow – Ok, we get it, pirates have taken hold on the Renn Faire, it’s alright, but could you use more imagination then a Jack Sparrow costume? 2 of them in one afternoon.

Bluetooth – Leave the headset at home. At least try to keep to the illusion, nobody wants to be the yuppie nattering away to themselves in line for a turkey leg, and then takes a mace off the head. Don’t be that guy!

Storm with throwing axes – Amazingly I got hold of 4 of them and managed to throw them without mortally wounding myself or others. Really it would have been best to evacuate the fairgrounds when I stepped up to the booth.

Really the organizers should enforce these suggestions before Renaissance Faires start looking like World Of Warcraft conventions.

So until next time Deadites, Sit Back, Relax, and Rot Away…